O' LORD, WHAT HATH NATURE WROUGHT

With ample stingers, thorns and fangs, Back Pasture Ranch seems unusually blessed with species designed to mess you up.

Back in Montana, we kept our eyes peeled for bears, wolves and cougars. But here in Oklahoma, the biggest threats are much smaller. In fact, some of our hostiles are virtually microscopic—​we're looking at you, chiggers. It's definitely the micro-fauna that require the most vigilance. Shoot, even some of the flora has it in for you.

So forget the can of bear spray. Grab your bug spray and take a photographic tour of the worst we have to offer.

WICKED THORNS, like angry sea urchins, jut menacingly from the honey locust trees flourishing all across our property. The stout, insanely sharp thorns snap off easily from trunks and branches, creating a treacherous jumble of barbs on the ground beneath each tree. They'll stab through tractor tires, leather gloves, even boot soles. Ask us how we know.

THE WATER MOCCASIN, ALSO CALLED COTTONMOUTH, is our most common venomous snake. Copperheads are here too but seen less often. Both can deliver a painful, potentially deadly bite. The hiss alone might scare you to death.

BIG HAIRY BROWN TARANTULAS are observed now and then on Back Pasture Ranch. At four inches across, they look scary but experts say they're harmless and actually quite docile, with large fangs and toxins used strictly to subdue small prey animals. Okay. Sure.

A TICK REACHES OUT from the tip of a weed, waiting to grab onto a passing mammal. Once it hitches a ride, it will crawl around on the animal's skin until it finds a tender spot, excrete a specialized numbing saliva, stealthily insert its mouth parts and begin sucking out a warm blood meal. This gross exchange of fluids can also transmit viral diseases.

POISON IVY is abundant! It can grow as a low ground cover, as a bush 2-8 feet tall, and as a vine reaching high into the treetops. Data show 25 percent of people can touch these plants with no allergic reaction. Yea, we're not in that group.

GIANT CENTIPEDES reach 7-8 inches in length. Jaws with venom glands are located on the first body segment behind the red head.

FERAL HOGS are infrequent visitors. It's only a matter of time until they move in permanently. Hopefully their diet includes giant centipedes.

NON-NATIVE, INVASIVE AND AGGRESSIVE FIRE ANTS swarm and attack anything that disturbs their mound. After firmly biting and anchoring onto your skin with its jaws, the ant thrusts its rear-end stinger into your flesh. The venom is especially toxic and causes burning pain. The ant then pivots to the side and stings again, and again, up to 7-8 times in a distinctive circular pattern. Very artsy.

SNAPPING TURTLES are always in a foul mood. Unlike most of the species on this page, which only leave a welt, puncture or rash, a big grumpy snapper can fully separate you from a digit. Watch your fingers and toes if you decide to to cool off in the creek or pond.

STINGING SCORPIONS are easy to find under rocks and logs. They're an assembly of leftover parts from a variety of ugly critters. Crawfish pinchers. Spider legs. Rattler tail. Wasp stinger. Add some bumblebee wings and they'd border on creepy.

ELEVEN DIFFERENT BAT SPECIES are native to LeFlore County. They're fascinating and often misunderstood animals. There's an old myth about bats flying into women's hair—except this one is actually TRUE! Ask us how we know.

THORNY VEGETATION such as wild rose and greenbrier is everywhere. If it ends up in hay bales, it can impact into the gums of younger cattle. Infection presents as a jaw lump. Untreated, the sore can erupt through the skin.

BONUS WORRY: Severe weather is a hallmark of Oklahoma and we certainly receive our share. Denise took this pic in spring 2024. The lowering, rotating cloud never fully tightened into a tornado. Maybe next time!

HOME